If anyone looks at my info on Facebook they’ll notice that my religion is Manchester United. Everytime I say this, usually jokingly, people give me shit for it. “That’s not a real religion” etc, etc, etc. Well let’s see: Catholicism - I’ll burn in Hell, Judaism - I’ll burn in Jewish Hell, Islam - (sorry for my ignorance) I’ll burn somewhere lol, Mormonism - I think I’m even beyond hope for them, Atheists - they’re crazy, and I don’t know where i’d burn because they have no Hell lol. See I’m pretty much screwed in every religion lol. Not that I don’t believe in some higher order, I’m more of an Agnostic, I believe the term is. I believe in something. But until that something is confirmed, my religion is Manchester United. We have a God - Sir Matt Busby. We have saints - Sir Alex Ferguson and Sir Bobby Charlton. We have disciples - Wayne Rooney, Ryan Giggs, Ole Gunnar Solksjaer, and innumerable others. We have follwers - being the most followed football team ever. We have holy scriptures(well, there’s holes in them for the staples lol) - Match Day programmes. We have religous songs - Glory, Glory Man United, etc. We have our place of worship - Old Trafford. We even have religous enemies - Liverpool, Manchester City, Barcelona, Chelsea, Arsenal, etc.

See it’s not that much different from a religion. As much as I may be blaspheming to every religion in existence, including those Floridian snake worshippers, this is my belief. You have yours, I have mine. My belief in United is as strong as yours is in your higher order. AND as a bonus, you can support my “religion” with none of the guilt you would get from others lol. UNITED, UNITED, UNITED!!!!!